Vinegar was—and remains—an indispensable pillar of the Filipino palate: serving as a dipping sauce condiment, a curing agent for kinilaw, a tenderizing marinade, or the essential souring element in a braise. Throughout my youth, Tonyong Suka’s sukang puti nourished me through my mother’s cooking—flavoring my favorite dishes of kinilaw, paksíw, and adobo.

This familiar Tagalog colloquialist phrase literally translates to “just nothing” in English. It illustrates a uniquely Filipino tendency to downplay one's true intentions or feelings—not out of insincerity, but out of a gentle modesty so as not to appear overly grand or demanding. It seeks to be ambiguous, vague, or opaque, yet in reality, it speaks volumes.

Like all great traditions, the balikbayan ecosystem benefits everyone. For those of us who have left loved ones behind, it offers a comfort extraordinaire. It has also spawned an entire network of thriving businesses: travel agencies, remittance centers, and door-to-door cargo companies. But like any good thing, this service is easily taken for granted—and often abused.

Through word of mouth, demand exploded. People bought the fish by the caseload, loading their car trunks and selling them at work. During the tech boom, Silicon Valley campuses employed hundreds of Filipino workers. On lunch breaks, employees would head to the parking lot, pop open their trunks, and sell frozen milkfish straight from the boxes to their colleagues.

I remembered Young arriving at our house in overalls, a tool vest, and rolls of cable slung over his shoulder, coming to work on our home and business computers. In time, we became fast friends. When he married his childhood sweetheart in Vietnam, he talked about her constantly—proud of her beauty and her prowess in the kitchen.

It took two full years before I was able to truly grieve my brother. During a shopping trip to Macy's, the song he always played on my piano—“As Time Goes By”—began piping through the store's speakers. It was a poignant, bitter reminder that a man who was never in a rush had been taken away far too quickly.